


Seventy-Six Days

by pencilguin



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 10:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20113639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pencilguin/pseuds/pencilguin
Summary: [spoilers for 2x14]It’s been seventy-six days and Paul can’t sleep. Again.If he’s being honest, of course, sometimes not sleeping is better than sleeping. Most days not sleeping is better than sleeping.





	Seventy-Six Days

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this a while ago in Discord and then sort of forgot about it. Unbeta'd, sorry for any mistakes that might still be in there. 
> 
> Content warning: mention of canon character death.

It’s been seventy-six days and Paul can’t sleep. Again.

If he’s being honest, of course, sometimes not sleeping is better than sleeping. Most days not sleeping is better than sleeping.

Seventy-six days and still he wakes himself up screaming Hugh’s name, soaked in sweat, panting like he’s just run a marathon. Then he starts crying.

Dreams are cruel in that way; they dredge up all the memories you didn’t think you had. Paul thought he was too far gone when Hugh died. Turns out, two meters of sterile air and a privacy force field and the unfathomable depths of mycelial mind limbo aren’t enough to shield you from the fact that your partner is being violently murdered right in front of your eyes. Dreams are cruel in that they make sure you never forget.

It’s been one hundred seventy-six days and nine hundred and thirty years, and Paul can’t sleep. Again; though he’s gotten better.

Now when he wakes up screaming, Hugh is there, right next to him, and a quick reality check will find him warm and soft and breathing and alive under Paul’s outreached hand, will reveal his shape in the dark pushing himself up enough to turn around, and then his voice will be gentle and his touch will be soft and reassuring and Paul will remember that while the memory is real, it is a thing of the past and Hugh is back and they are better now.

Sometimes, when he thinks about it, he feels bad. Silly, considering how he reassures Hugh every time that his trauma is valid and real and that Paul will always be there for him no matter what. When he voices his concern, Hugh reminds him of that.

Sometimes they both lie awake in the dark, holding on to each other to keep their respective demons at bay.


End file.
